It’s why I haven’t been writing. It was the result of a feeling. Nothing seemed right for days. Something pulled at me. I was irritated with everything, nothing satisfied me — and I’m usually easy with life.
I came to a complete stop.
I would sit for hours. I napped and repeated this pattern for days, wondering when the fatigue would end. I tried to find a reason for it. Maybe it was the heat?
I realized something big was about to surface, something I couldn’t see yet. I needed to go deep within myself to uncover it.
It was a challenge.
I needed to give this feeling time to percolate. This was one of those opportunities to recreate myself (once more); even if I was quite content with with who I was, where I was … thank you very much!
I’ve learned you can’t control when life asks for change. You can only listen.
And listening requires solitude.
Solitude is different than being alone. Solitude happens in those precious moments when you touch the essence of who you are. It feels like an infusion of grace. You don’t want to come back to your normal state. Solitude feels like home, as peace settles in.
I find that when I have a string of days when I’m feeling discontent and dark clouds seem to hover over me, it helps to remember something unseen is working within, without, and for me. I don’t have to try to “do” something other than accept where I am and see what unfolds.
The sun will come out tomorrow.
It doesn’t need my help with that.
So instead of trying to get out of my tangled-ness or figure out the “Why?” behind my malaise, I give thanks. Because I’m grateful for the experience. Feeling sad and down allows me to have compassion for others. I know this blue period will pass. I know something is about to materialize, and when it does, it will be the very thing I need.
Something unexpected and wonderful always shows up. Being out of sorts and letting go are the beginning of feeling alive again. It’s all part of life’s cycle.
So give yourself time to be when you’re on the downward slope of life’s wavelength.
Give yourself time to do absolutely nothing.
Sit in silence, without guilt, without distraction.
What do you notice?
What do you see that you might have missed?
You are breathing.
Life is all around us.
It is breathing with us,
urging us to take the trip inward.