One Mother

A single rose at Into the Tangled GardenMother’s day touches everyone in some way. We are born of one mother, unlike any other. As our mother and our lifeline, she nurtured and cared for us. She is our first love and one we never get over, because later, she often proves to be our first heartbreak.

In the beginning, her warm embrace gave us a sense of security. We had a felt sense that we needed her and she needed us. Later, as we became conscious of our separateness, initially a shock – we may have cried as we adjusted to the sense of free floating. Still, long into our adulthood, we look to her and yearn for her approval.

Some of us are in the throws of motherhood, full of love and newness. As we move into a role unlike any other, something changes in us. Our primal maternal instincts take over. The awareness of this fragile, sacred, innocent love complete with it’s own DNA and human potential laying in our arms, is overwhelmingly life changing.

Mothering means that we sacrifice our personal desires, and give our full attention to seeing that our child’s needs are met. Most of us, though our intention is genuine, fail in some way or another because we’re human and complex, and life happens.

Those of us who had a mother who fell short, she may be an unconscious victim of her own upbringing and shortcomings. Or maybe due to cultural and societal expectations,we  may have felt abandoned. Perhaps our role model seemed aloof and cold. The hopes of being accepted, getting tenderness and warmth, nourishment, and understanding now seems out of reach. We continue to yearn for what was lacking in our childhood, and on an unconscious level, hope that it will come through other relationships.

Mothering takes energy and focus, there is no time for self, and anyone bringing up a little one knows that you can’t step away, not for a minute. However, as our children grow and become a little more independent, exploring their world without us, we as mothers move into a stage of wondering what about me? Questions like who am I, what am I suppose to be doing? What happens after children? It’s then that we often begin the journey of self exploration. Often our children are still in need of us though they pretend to be self-sufficient and independent. Afraid to expose their needs, they may come to feel that we let them down.

The Archetype of the Child remains within us throughout our lives, no matter our age. Here is the lesson in the fable about our less than perfect mother. The Mother Archetype is an energy available for us to put into action. We have within us an ability to love, nurture, and care for ourselves.

The truth is that no one can do that for us, and nothing rescues us from that quest. Sooner or later, we have to learn how to master it ourselves. So mothers, daughters, and sons, honor and love yourself completely.

As imperfect as you are or think you are, honor your feelings, your hopes and desires, and love one another as you love yourself.